Bachelor Women Tell All Recap

So how about that Women Tell All last night, ladies?!

I was out in Pittsburgh for a business trip, so I missed the first 15 (most likely boring) minutes, but made it just minutes before the issues started between Britt & Carly.

Looking back on it, while I like Carly, she was pretty mean.  She definitely had some jealousy issues over Britt which is probably where a lot of this came from.  But I don't think she was wrong about Britt.  She acted like a spoiled brat who has never felt pain before, and "I'm just such a good person, why'd you have to go and be so mean."  And the crying, oh the ugly crying.  I just hope she finds a friend who can get her to pull herself together and realize that she looked for love on a television show.

Also, that whole comment about how much she loves children and sponsors children, and goes to other countries for children.  Seriously.  We get that you're a good person, and you get it, too.

Jillian - no one cares what you're saying.  You're the girl with the censor block when you're not in a bikini.

Moving on to Ashley S.  My favorite. person. ever.

Seriously - Can she be my best friend?  I love how weird she is!  And I completely understand wanting to act silly in front of the cameras.  I'd probably be the same way.  She's probably the most intelligent person who's ever been on this show and NO ONE knows.

But let's discuss the best part of the night: Kelsey and Ashley I.

Kelsey is still a crazy person and her eloquence and calculated words aren't fooling anyone.  I'm not sure where she went to college, Miss "Crazy Smart" doesn't have a LinkedIn, and, trust me, when you go to one of the top 10 schools in America - you brag about it.  So I she is living in quite a delusional world.  But you do have to feel for her when it comes to talking about her husband being "made up".  You can't get away with that on national television.  And for Ashley I to think that everything Kelsey said about her to be just the same as the accusations she made about Kelsey, it is pretty out of line.

But that's because I think Ashley I is the worst person ever.  The most fascinating thing is that she watched those episodes of herself on tv and doesn't realize how AWFUL she is.  For a girl who looks in the mirror 8 hours a day, she really should see the faces she makes and how unattractive she looks.

What were your favorite moments??  Does anyone else think that Kaitlyn may be the next Bachelorette?

[All photos found on zap2it]

Bachelor Recap & Other Things

| Bachelor Recap |

What the heeeeeeeccccckkkkk was up with this episode?

First: Love Guru.

I was so incredibly uncomfortable the whole time.  I'm loving Carly the more and more she's on the show so I felt AWFUL that she was forced to go on this incredibly awkward date.  I mean, aside from the awkwardness that had to have been there for Carly & Chris, I felt, as a viewer, that this was crossing a line and violating my personal space.  ABC - not well played.  I did feel really bad for Chris when he was opening up about his profession and how he wasn't expected to make much of his life.  Poor guy - that's awful!

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Group date -
Megan........ I'm sure you're a very nice girl and I'm sorry about your dad but SERIOUSLY.  Have a brain.  She didn't understand the concept of "New Mexico".  Is it Mexico?  Is it America?  Is it a country?  Is it a state?  I don't know what's going on up there, but she should really run her thoughts by someone before going on television.

Also, Jade has a condition where she can get hypothermia easier than the average person?  I find that interesting since usually you would wear a lot of clothes if you had something like that, but she's posing nude for Playboy so....

Oh.  Burn.

And did anyone else think at the cocktail party that 1) Jordan was a lot prettier than I remembered and 2) aside from her annoying voice, Whitney is actually pretty awesome.

I wonder what Ashley I. thinks about herself now that she's watching this air live and all of America thinks she's awful.  Literally.  Maybe it was just a ploy to get on television so if that's the case, applause.

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Britt -

I'm so confused by her.  How is it that she's waking up and rushing out of the hotel wearing dirty socks and she looks like that.  I don't believe it.  Also... she has really nice skin, so if she sleeps in her makeup, either she has the best genes ever or that whole not sleeping in your makeup thing is a LIE!

And finally... what we're all waiting on:

KELSEY

WHAT A CRAZY WOMAN!  As a guidance counselor, she has just solidified herself never getting a job again in America if they ever decide to look her up.  I wouldn't be surprised if someone decided to look into her husband's death as a homicide.  JUSSSSTTTT SAYING.  And her breakdown?  Give that girl an Oscar.

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| Vanity Fair |

I love reading Vanity Fair.  I like to call it intelligent celebrity gossip.  I think what I like about it most is I learn a lot about the "upper-class elite" that I never knew about.  Sometimes it's awful, but knowledge is still power, and I love learning about the world I live in - good or bad.  Do you have a magazine or online publication that you can't get enough of?

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| Shopping Dry Spell |

I'm giving up shopping for Lent (I know - cheese in February, shopping for Lent... who am I?!) so I went shopping this past weekend to get it out of my system and update my wardrobe before spring since I won't be able to shop again until April 5th.  I'll discuss all of the details in a later post... but I was surprised at how little I actually liked.  I felt like I couldn't find as much as I wanted.  What is this - a dry spell?!  I'm afraid that I'll want tons of things in the middle of the shopping break.

| Blogger Spotlight |

The Boston Fashionista has done a ton of posts on women in business lately and I've really enjoyed the spin that she's added to her blog.  Since blogging isn't my first job, it's really helpful to hear from other women out in the business world how they live their lives.  Great inspiration!

| Barcart Obsessions |

I've been wanting a barcart since before Christmas and I just can't find one that I'm willing to make a part of the family.  Look at these beauties!

| Picture 1, Picture 2, Picture 3 |

Bachelor Recap & Other Things

| Bachelor Recap |

If I was the head of a psychiatric hospital, I would contact the producers of The Bachelor and come up with a plan that when you leave, you aren't sent home, but to my hospital.  Seriously.  I have found the crazies of America.  So let's recap:

Camping:

I HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES FOR KELSEY.  Ugh.  When I heard her laugh that one time, I was a little scared.  But I thought, we all have our flaws, don't focus on this.  But she acted like a spoiled brat.  And I'm sorry, I love the Midwest and Chicago, and think Lake Michigan is awesome, too.  But if you're going to be all bratty about lakes I just want to remind you that us coastal people have OCEANS, and those are so much better than a lake - great or not.  JUSSSSTTTT saying.

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Also, let's discuss Ashley I. and her obsession with her virginity.  Seriously.  I'm convinced she's not and this is all a ruse.  I want some guy to come forward and debunk her claims!  MAD props to Becca (who is my favorite contestant - not necessarily for the winner, but I love her as a person) for admitting that she was too, and that she isn't making a big deal out of it!  LOVE HER.  

Princess Date:

I loved this date.  I loved how sweet Jade was and how cute they were together.  She's lived in Nebraska, too, so she understands the Midwest.  I loved how upset Ashley I. was that she was going.  I just loved this... and then...

Jason Biggs found pictures of sweet innocent Jade posing nude for Playboy.

GAH!

So disappointed.

Mud Race:

Do you think they purposefully sent Jillian on this date because they knew she would win and it would force him to see how awful she was?  Yes?  Because I do.  +5 points to Carly for being hilarious.  I feel like her and I would have a lot of fun together.  

Jillian on the other hand was a train wreck.  I really appreciated Chris's jokes "She starts talking and all of a sudden I think of unicorns and rainbows..."  Don't cry Jillian about "not being vulnerable".  You put yourself on a pedestal, you were incredibly harsh to a lot of the girls in the house the minute you got out of the limo, and wore more makeup than I own.  MOVE ON.

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But the real story here is the departure of Ashley S.  Let us morn my FAVORITE contestant of all time.  I LOVE HER.  Her exit was absolutely perfect.

I feel........................................................ NOTHING.

Ashley S. please find me and be my best friend.  You are hilarious.  My new thoughts on her are she did all of this as a ruse.  She wanted ample tv time to show she can act crazy, because really she's making fun of everyone.  Yep.  That's what I'm going with.

Seriously girl, call me.

Is everyone else excited to see Kelsey's melt down next episode?

ALSO!  If you want to take a fun quiz, Chris partnered with ProFlowers on a compatibility quiz - I failed (no shock) but you may not!  Find it here! 

| Shonda Thursday | 

Did you miss Grey's / Scandal / How to Get Away with Murder this week??  I'm not a big fan of Grey's (I stopped long before most people) but the other two are SO good.  I felt SO exhausted after Scandal.  Theories on who has Olivia?  Even more exciting, Shonda is in the works of creating a new show regarding a female forensic scientist.  But there's a part of me that thinks she may be pushing her luck...

| Fromage-less February | 

I'm giving up cheese in February.  I feel like I eat way too much cheese - I look at it as a condiment or spice... like ketchup or pepper.  Yep.  It's going to be quite the test, but I think it's my downfall and I want to see if I A) lose weight giving it up and B) feel better.  I don't look at this like "gluten-free"... I just feel like everything should be consumed in moderation.  And cheese, yeah, I don't consume that in moderation.  

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| Ju-NO | 

Juno was an utter disappointment if you lived on the Northeast coast and not New England.  I'm going to say it now that it's almost February, SNOW already.  Like really snow.  Make it impossible for us to work for like 2 days and then move on.  Let us live our lives!  I'm sorry I keep complaining about all of this but really.  It's tiring.

| Super Bowl | 

I am excited for the Super Bowl tomorrow because, who doesn't love a little friendly competition??  In some ways, this is a fun year because I could care less about who wins, so it can be fun.  Katy Perry has been very funny, and I'm sure she'll put on a decent show.  And who doesn't love the commercials?!  I will say, I'm a little disappointed so many are leaking before.  What happened to the days where this whole thing was a spectacle?  Regardless, I'm ready for some FOOTBALL!  Who are you rooting for???

  

Bachelor Recap & Other Things

| Bachelor Recap | 

Last week's Bachelor was full of crying virgins, censor blocks, voices that make you want to kill puppies, and delusional daters.  Let's break it down, shall we?

Jimmy Kimmel

I love him.  Have you ever seen the celebs read mean tweets segments on his show?  SO funny.  So Jimmy coming to The Bachelor was definitely something that needs to happen more often.  I'm sure he was miserable and hated every second of it (Read: Do I have to really act like this is a valid process of finding love?) but he killed every moment.  All of the girls acted like 3rd graders when a guest speaker comes to class, though.  Seriously, could you all BE any more fake?

( Photo )

One-on-One Date with Kaitlyn at Costco

For a person who "never saw The Bachelor" she's pretty whiney about not getting a "helicopter"-esque date.  The boyfriend walked in to her complaining and was like, "but, I love our dates at Costco!".  Aw he's sweet.  It's true, we do love Costco, and it can be a great date.  I think it's important you like doing real things - even if that means you're wearing a crop top (not real Costco shopping attire).

I'm liking her more, but I can't picture a break dancer in Iowa.  Anyone else?

Group Date

Seriously on Jillian's shirt - "Stay Classy" - they had to censor her SHORTS.  The real question I had about those was... where does one BUY shorts that need censored on national television.  Seriously?  If you know, please comment.

( Photo )

Oh dear, poor Carly.  She won, kissed the man, and STILL didn't get the rose.  But I totally understand Becca - you play the "hard to get game", you go girl.  

Does anyone else feel incredibly uncomfortable when Amber has any air time?  "Will you dance with me?"  Oh gosh, I can't... stop... you're running a red light!

One-on-One Date with Whitney

You can not tell me that you want to hear that voice for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.  I want to sit that girl down and be like, "STOP.  Talk like an adult.  It's not cute."  I wonder why these girls don't have any good friends in life to tell them these things.  

She also is trying way to hard.  Exhibit A:

Chris: "I really like a girl who can 'roll the cob', you know like, 'go with the flow'."

Whitney: "Oh I love that.  Like just hanging out.  Like we're doing right now."

Chris: "Yeah, and I like a girl who can walk into a room and know no one, and be able to talk to anyone."

Whitney: "Oh my gosh, I make friends in the airport - we're Facebook friends!"

Chris: "And a girl who is really spontaneous and up for an adventure."

Whitney: "Really?  Because I think we should crash that wedding like right now!"

I swear, if he said he liked his women to have man parts, she'd probably say she was born a dude.

Pool Party

Did you ever go to school with a person who thought they were popular because they were loud and talked to everyone, even though they didn't have a good personality and no one liked them?  And they didn't even make the homecoming/prom court yet they still talked about how they were the "coolest in the class"?  Meet Jillian.  I watch her and I wonder when she'll realize that people would rather be stuck in a locked meat freezer with Ashley S. than spend any time with her.

Ashley I. needs to go.  The tears.  The eating of Chris's face.  The constant referral to her virginity.  The "Kardashian" worshipping.  Then again... I think it would be great to see her on the farm.  

( Photo )

Also: guesses on who the other virgin is?  (I can't believe this is all over national TV)  We know 3 of them are out due to the whole marriage/kid thing... my guess is... Becca?  Maybe?  I don't know.

Comments always appreciated!

| Paying it Forward | 

If you live on the northern east coast, you'll know that we have been having snow every couple of days.  On Wednesday, I took the train to avoid the snow commute.  When I returned to my car that night someone had cleaned it off for me!  I have no idea who it was (and it wasn't just my car), but it was one of the nicest, selfless things that I've seen in a while.  Those little things make me have such faith in humanity.

(My photo on Instagram)

| Aw, nuts! | 

I've been craving nuts lately (ha. ha. you all are 12).  I have pistachios, cashews, peanuts, almonds, etc. and can't stop from eating them.  The weirdest thing is I hated nuts about 10 years ago.  Like how does that happen??  Is there a food that you never ate and now can't get enough of?  

| Serial | 

I finally started listening to Serial.  Boyfriend & I had over 4 hours in the car traveling to see family all over, so I suggested that we start the podcast.  Oh. My. God.  It's so good!  Sarah Koenig does such a great job presenting the story and evidence, giving her opinion but being incredibly rational.  Of course, it drives me crazy that many of the questions won't be answered by the end, but I'm definitely thinking (as of the end of episode 7), that it was Adnan.  I have 5 more episodes so who knows.  If you haven't listened yet, YOU HAVE TO.  SO GOOD!

( Photo )

Have a wonderful week!

The Bachelor: Meet the Women

Since it's a new year, I'm trying something new on The Crown Bijoux.  In the past, TCB has been 97% about fashion with the remaining 3% divided between shopping and miscellaneous.  After speaking with a great friend and reader of mine, she mentioned how she missed my old blog that had fashion but other musings about what it was like one year after college.  So, I'm trying something a little new.  Many of you know I love watching television (guilty pleasure... in my defense I tend to read & blog while doing it!) and some of you know that watching The Bachelor/ette is something I am ashamed of, yet brings me much joy.  I'm going to add in a little of my commentary this season with Farmer Chris as some of the posts instead of straight fashion - but don't worry, the outfits will continue!  I'd love to hear your feedback - on this post or on others.  I write for all of you!

So let's begin: The judgement period.  Tonight, Chris Soules will meet 30 women who will all think that they need to be Mrs. Soules.  And as a woman in my mid-twenties who appreciates the occasional (ha) glass of wine, I am happy to watch and laugh and jeer and think, "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?"  The tears.  The false proclamations of love.  The girl that everyone inevitably hates.  I live for this.  I'm. So. Excited.

But one of my favorite things: judging the women before the show even starts!

| Picture - ABC | 

I've rated the women on a 1-5 scale (1 lowest, 5 highest) based on name, job, looks, statistics, and general information.  I judge the name and job before I see their pictures, by the way.  If you want to see each individual woman, click here.

Let's Begin!

| Alissa | Total Score: 20
Commentary: I think being a flight attendant is really cool.  Maybe that's very 1960's thinking of me, but hey.  Also, I love her most embarrassing moment.  I feel like I was that girl at a couple of points in my life.

| Amanda | Total Score: 16
Commentary: I also am jealous she's a ballet instructor.  Bendy.  Don't love her answers, though.  She wants to be Allie from The Notebook because of Noah's love for her?  That's kind of weird.

| Amber | Total Score: 14
Commentary: I like that she likes Reservoir Dogs.  I can get on board with that.

| Ashley I. | Total Score: 14
Commentary: She listed foundation and mascara as things she can't live without.  If you saw her picture you wouldn't be surprised.............

| Ashley S. | Total Score: 16
Commentary: She looks pretty real, which I like!

| Becca | Total Score: 17
Commentary: I like her.  Her answers definitely helped.  Which is more important, right?

| Bo | Total Score: 15
Commentary: Bo? I don't even like this name for a girl, let alone a guy.  I've heard it as a nickname for Rainbow, but that doesn't help her in the least.  Wait, she's a plus-size model, too?  Seriously.  Why can't we just say she's a model?  Like really - NOTHING IS DOING HER ANY FAVORS AND I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HER YET!  Okay, she's pretty and I like her.  I stand by calling her just a model.

| Britt | Total Score: 17
Commentary: Her favorite author is David Foster Wallace?  I'm... intrigued by this ombre haired waitress.  She's going to be interesting.

| Brittany | Total Score: 12
Commentary: WWE Diva-in-training??  Like.  You may be that.  But don't admit it.  Don't ever admit it.  I know which one she is in the big pic, too, and I literally can't even.  Please go night one.  Please.  Unless you create drama.  Then episode 4.

| Carly | Total Score: 17
Commentary: She was doing well until she listed she couldn't live without cut-off shorts.  Mad props for having to be a look-out for real pirates though.  That's badass (and pretty scary)!

| Jade | Total Score: 22
Commentary: I love her!  She likes elephants, she's pretty, she likes Jane Eyre.  She's smart and pretty and real.  Oh please don't make me regret this.

| Jillian | Total Score: 16
Commentary: Being a news producer is pretty cool - and she's from Washington D.C. (no points for location).  Her picture isn't flattering for her back.  Like really - look.

| Jordan | Total Score: 17
Commentary: She sounds a little crazy - she skinny dips.  I'm never comfortable naked sooo.

| Juelia | Total Score: 14
Commentary: I'm interested to hear how she pronounces "Juelia".  Is it a fun spelling for Julia?  Is it a silent "J" like "You-elia?" Or do you pronounce everything like "Jew-Elia"?  I rated it 3 because while I can't judge a name I don't know... I do feel bad for all of the teachers out there who have to figure out how to pronounce unique names on the first day of school.

| Kaitlyn | Total Score: 19
Commentary: She's a dance instructor.  Either she will really get along with Amanda, or they'll be mortal enemies - DANCE OFF! She was doing really well until she got to the Ninja Turtle stuff.

| Kara | Total Score: 21
Commentary: I really like her top.

| Kelsey | Total Score: 23
Commentary: I love her hair, she seems smart and very real.  I feel like if she makes it past 3 episodes she could go really far.

| Kimberly | Total Score: 17
Commentary: Is it just me or do a lot of these girls look alike?  Does he tell the producers his type?  I mean, they all kind of look like Andie...

| Mackenzie | Total Score: 12
Commentary: There's a lot I don't love about her... but she's 21.  That's like REALLY young to be looking for a husband.  At least... in front of the whole nation.

| Megan | Total Score: 18
Commentary: These embarrassing stories are really good.  Like really good.  I'll support the girls who were completely honest (because they're the best ones!)

| Michelle | Total Score: 15
Commentary: I wonder how much someone makes decorating wedding cakes.

| Nicole | Total Score: 18
Commentary: She seems really sweet but I don't think she's going to last.  It's always the redhead.  Poor redheads.

| Nikki | Total Score: 19
Commentary: She's way too pretty.  I bet they picked her up at her modeling agency (which she admits is Wilhelmina Models - nice placement!).  Did you know they do that?  Not only do they have the casting calls but they go to modeling agencies and scout people they think are attractive.  So interesting!

| Reegan | Total Score: 22
Commentary: Props on the fun name.  Donated Tissue Specialist?  Color me intrigued...

| Samantha | Total Score: 20
Commentary: Fashion Designer - we automatically love her.  She also grew up in the country so I like her a lot haha.

| Tandra | Total Score: 19
Commentary: I feel like we're very similar.  The fact that she can't live without contact lenses made me give her an automatic five.  Preach, sister friend!

| Tara | Total Score: 11
Commentary: Sport Fishing Enthusiast?  I'm keeping my jokes at bay because in all seriousness, that could be really hot to a farmer.  However, she's the girl who looks less than enthused in the background, has a stuff beaver named Beave, and refers to a good guy opening the "truck" door for her.  Truck.  Like.  Does it have to be?  And marriage means "legal documentation" that you are forever committed and loyal to your best friend.  This is going to go REAL well!

| Tracy | Total Score: 16
Commentary: She looks like Tiffany Thiessen to me.

| Trina | Total Score: 16
Commentary: For biggest date fear she said, "eating something that gives me "di-di".  Is that diarrhea?  Okay.......

| Whitney | Total Score: 20
Commentary: I love planners, too, and I don't think it's old school.  She also seems real, however, the boyfriend did not like that she had a tattoo.  Mind you this is the only one he saw, as many have more than one tattoo.

My top 7: Alissa, Jade, Kara, Kelsey, Reegan, Samantha, and Whitney - let's see how I do!

* Please note that I'm really not this cruel.  It's just for fun.  I'm sure each of these girls is very lovely, but it should be noted that they are a) on a national television show, so they did sign up for this - and a lot of other people are MUCH less forgiving than I am and b) not depicted as their true selves, I'm sure. *